This Jesus Challenges Me

"I use force, and He says, Forgive.
I am afraid, and He says, Take heart.
I doubt, and He says, Trust.
I feel anxious, and He says, Be calm.
I desire to be left alone, and He says, Come, follow me.
I make my plans, and He says, Let's go this way.
I want security, and He says to me, You will be persecuted for my sake.
I want to live, and He says, Give your life.
I believe I am a good person, and He says, That's not enough.
I want to be in charge, to give the commands, and He says, Serve, obey.
I want to understand, and He says, Believe.
I want clarity, and He speaks to me in Parables.
I want poetry, and He speaks of Realities.
I want tranquility, and He wants me To be disturbed.
I think of revenge, and He says, Turn the other cheek.
I speak of peace, and He says, I have come to bring a sword.
I want to hide, and He says, Let your light shine.
I seek out the first place, and He says, Sit in the last place.
I want to be seen, and He says, Pray in secret.
I want to hang on, and He says, Let go.
I want to win, and He says, Surrender.
No, I don't understand this Jesus. He provokes me. He confounds me. Like many of His disciples I, too, think I would like to follow a different teacher; one who would be more clear, and who would ask less of me. But it is as true for me as it was for Peter. When Jesus asked the twelve, "Do you also wish to go away?" Simon Peter answered, "Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life."